Mufti, Dr Asri in one of his articles in Mingguan Malaysia, “the only Islamic thing most of Malay practise in a marriage is during ceremonial of marriage (akad nikah), and latter, when happen, on how to dissolve a marriage which goes under the jurisdiction of Syariah court.
The problem in Malay society, especially some of Malay girls, they thought when they come to age of 27; they think they are too old to get married. And after 30’s, no man wants to marry them. This nonsensical thought made them to rush into a marriage without much consideration of the consequences. They pick any guy who they think suitable to b married, they hardly even know the history of these guys ( well, guys are known to hide their true colour for some time, for the sake of winning one’s heart). Lucky if they married to a good person. Otherwise, a hell on earth has just begun. It seems like gambling one’s life to me. For heaven’s sake marriage is not on the cloud 9 all of time. And why get married if you are to suffer at the end of it? That is why we need a strong back up plan if anything happen after a sacred matrimonial ceremony.
And come to children. True, a child is a gift from Allah s.w.t, but Islam allows Muslims to plan a birth. Today hectic world is different from our moyang world, where u can simply have many children so that the children can help them in paddy field for example. Today, you have got to really plan your family so that you can give a better future for the children, which begin with better education. And a good education doesn’t come in a cheap price.
My mother is a teacher at a local daily secondary school, once or twice I passed the school to send her, and it is a sad scene to see the school goers behaving uncontrollably wild. They smoked cigarettes, flirted around; none of them were seeing reading books, or, at least, newspaper. Nowadays, parents are too busy with their careers and in their pursuit of wealth. Of course, it’s justifiable, as the mother and father need to work to make ends meet in this economic situation.
But what happen when parents don’t spend quality time with their children? They are not able to watch over and protect their children. They also cannot bring them worth good morals, including the virtue of humankind. In this way, the children will not be inculcated with good values and traits. Rather, they will grow into undisciplined and wayward children. This could be worse when a family have so many children to look after. Parents, despite of the responsibility to the children, they have other big responsibility, which to look after their own parents. Their parents might be sick, and maybe stay together with them forming a nucleus family. With so many children, this sacred job must be done fairly.
But what happen when parents don’t spend quality time with their children? They are not able to watch over and protect their children. They also cannot bring them worth good morals, including the virtue of humankind. In this way, the children will not be inculcated with good values and traits. Rather, they will grow into undisciplined and wayward children. This could be worse when a family have so many children to look after. Parents, despite of the responsibility to the children, they have other big responsibility, which to look after their own parents. Their parents might be sick, and maybe stay together with them forming a nucleus family. With so many children, this sacred job must be done fairly.
Worse come to worse, if both parents’ monthly income doesn’t meet the need of their children. What are the consequences of such situation? Children are neglected; they children are always left to fend for themselves and to solve their numerous problems alone. There was a report recently, how a teenager in Sabak Bernam high on drugs and caught in a hotel with cellophane contains videos of herself in a sex act.
This is the latest trend of crimes involving young people in our society. These crimes are being reported with such alarming regularity that is worrying. Why is the youth in our society so afflicted by drugs and sex? Where and how has it all gone wrong with these young people? They seem to act without a moral compass.
And what happened to the adults in their lives – Their parents, grandparents, teachers and the elders in the community? Perhaps, some of these elder people, they don’t show good moral values to the youth, caused the youth confused and blame the adult should they commit an error. As simple as this, a child, when scolded for loitering after school, might blame his or her father for sitting at kedai kopi, doing nothing but chatting nonstop hour by hour with friends.
Bad parenting and living in a difficult environment, the effects of which will be exacerbated during this recession, will further contribute towards failure to our society. Both adults and children scar mentally and emotionally. Parents should not deprive themselves of the sacred duty to raise good children, it is a God-given responsibility which they cannot at any cost neglect or overlook, especially during the formative years of a child.
To any Malay girl that feel offended by this article, please don’t be. It is the time for you to change, and select your spouse by your head, instead of your heart and lust.
Towards a caring society
Aisya Zaharin
